In the movie of our lives,
Would Woody Allen write the screenplay?
Not his best era,
But certainly not his worst either
But I wouldn't like to be like
Diane Keaton in Manhattan
So cerebral was she,
Runs away from any romance

But though you're neurotic
And a little paranoid
It doesn't make me Annie,
It doesn't make you Alvy

Woody Allen couldn't play you
Woody Allen couldn't play you
I know you want him to
But he couldn't play you

If the Swedish director
Ingmar Bergman was still with us
What a mastermind
But surely he'd have trouble with us
See I wouldn't like to be
Like Bibi Anderson in Wild Strawberries
What a doll she is,
But I'm really not that complex

And although we argue
And we have our problems
And sometimes it gets bad,
It never gets Bergman bad

Max von Sydow couldn't play you
Max von Sydow couldn't play you
I know you'd want him to
But Max von Sydow couldn't play you
Couldn't play you
Couldn't play you
Couldn't play you