Everybody wonders what anaesthetists do
While the patient is asleep
Everybody wonders what we do for three hours
While that machine goes beep
Everybody reckons we drink coffee and we gossip
And we're generally subversive
Everybody reckons we do crosswords and Sudoku
And we chat up all the nurses

But you do you really think that's all we do?
Well let me tell you now it isn't true
Cos we sometimes check the screen
And every now and then we write stuff
And if we have to intervene
We inject a bit of white stuff
And we offer to alter the lights, or the height of the bed
Or fiddle with the radio, or we change the CD
We even check the patient occasionally
And if they move we'll turn up to vapour
And then we go back to read the paper
Cos when the patient's asleep
We just sit and listen to the beep
We just sit and listen to the

Once upon a time I took pride in my job
But now I think it's time to depart
Cos I just sit here every day and listen to blips of the heart