Call the Smithsonian I made a discovery
Life ain't forever and lunch isn't free
Loved ones will break your heart with or without you
Turns out we don't get to know everything

Get the young scientists, tell them "come quick"
I must be the first man that's ever seen this
Lines on my face, my teeth are not white
My eyes do not work and my legs don't move right

Call the Smithsonian I made a discovery
Life ain't forever and lunch isn't free
Loved ones will break your heart with or without you
Turns out we don't get to know everything

I wonder if Romeo ever got scared
Taken but shaken, unprepared
Under the balcony, under the trees
Fully unknowing of where this would lead
What if we marry or give up the ghost?
Or we abandon those we love most?
What if you carry me and lay me down
Once you get used to me being around?

Call the Smithsonian I made a discovery
Life ain't forever and lunch isn't free
Loved ones will break your heart with or without you
Turns out we don't get to know everything

My bedroom's an office, my kitchen's a car
My life is a joke and my bathroom's a bar
I go there a lot, more than I should
I know I should stop but it feels too damn good

Call the Smithsonian I made a discovery
Life ain't forever and lunch isn't free
Loved ones will break your heart with or without you
Turns out we don't get to know everything