Taylor
Once upon a time, before I was insane
I dated this Disney guy, Joe Jonas was his name
But he broke up with me

Joe
You're just way too creepy! Plus I found someone else, his name's Mickey. (Ho Ho!)

Taylor
So I wrote a song about this stupid ass
Then found this guy named John, but that was over fast

If you don't marry me, I will pull all your teeth!

John
You're totally crazy!

Taylor
No!

John
Yes!

Taylor
No!

John
Yes!

Taylor
Maybe! Hahahaha!
He hit me with his guitar, and he said that

John
We are through!

Taylor
Just you wait
Until I write a song about you!

Then I met that Jake Gyllenhal dick
And was obsessed right away

Jake
You send me 1000 messages... and that's just from today!

Taylor
Oh, that's because I'm having your baby

Jake
What? But you don't even put out

Taylor
Stop questioning me, Jake
Or I'll put you 6 feet underground!

Jake
Whoa! Whoa! Phsyco, phsyco, phsyco!

Taylor
Fine, go!
It's good material

Next came Kennedy
I think he was 15
I bought the house next door to watch you constantly
And also to make sure you never ever cheat

Kennedy
Omg we are done! You are scary

Taylor
Harry was my last, that One Direction freak
I taped him to my wall, so he could never leave

Harry
Someone call the police!
You're insane, we are trough!

Taylor
You're just like all the rest
What did I do to you?

So I used my stalker app
To track down all of those pricks!
The next song I'll write I'll use their blood as my ink! (hey!)

Jake
Holy crap, that nut job just bursted in!

Ex-boyfriends
Whoah!

Taylor
What the hell is this?

Ex-boyfriends
It's a support group for all the men who wrote songs about you, bitch!

Taylor
What? I have not written about Harry yet

Harry
I am just planning ahead

John
Why are you even here anyway?

Taylor
To finish you all off with my pen!

Ex-Boyfriends
No! No! Devil, devil, devil

Taylor:]
Oh! Oh, it's true, I'm the devil!

Doctor
Ok, that's enough
You were right, she's nuts
You are coming with us!

Taylor
What? Wait, get out of me, I'm not crazy! Whoaah!

Ex-boyfriends
It worked!
This was all a trick, we knew you would come
So, we hired this doctor

Doctor
You're going to an insane asylum
Based on the behavior I observed

Taylor:]
Oh! Oh! Let me go, you assholes!

Assholes
No! No

Doctor
Welcome to your new home

Mickey
Ha ha, so you're crazy too, huh?