We could've called in a hangin' Cause your relatives kept a hangin round the place We could've called it swingin' Cause someone was always hittin' someone else in the face Livin' in our town house that was miles out of town So we called it the outhouse till the sheriff shut it down We ran out of anything to drink so I called it splits
Splits splits I called it splits I know some smart alec will say that splits sounds like quits But I really cling to this song I can swing to could be a hit Bill Anderson wrote it then Ben Colder stole it We called it fifty-fifty splits
It's always been harder to get out of jail than get in But if you'll go my bail it sure would feel good to be home again We could've called it endless cause we thought it'd never stop We could've called you topless cause you always blew your top They called it drunk and disorderly so I called it splits
Splits splits I called it splits I called it a rip in my pants from jumpin' that fence There I was hangin' upside down and swingin' that makes me tense Then came the cops up now they got me locked up Wishing I could call it splits Just cause I was plastered you called me a bleep bleep Finally I just called it splits I called it spliths I like that