A gore hound’s hunger for the esoteric and obscure Calls you beyond the 112th door of oblivion A video wasteland festering in strip mall hell. Its shadow-dimmed aisles of decades-old curiosities, Its dust-choked shelves of forgotten sinema. Big box video like the tombstones of untold horror, Luridly painted epitaphs telling tales of carnage and carnality An alphabetized memorial to the bygone video store epoch
Cunting rental girl’s annoying questions gone unheard, Without end, you espy tape after tape after tape. Like a connoisseur, you pour over every cover, every photo, Every word, worshipping at the altar of yesteryear’s atrocity. You breathe deeply of the foetid stench of moldering celluloid, Your nostrils inhaling the nameless fungi of long unwatched terror. Your hapless gray matter weltering in a miasma of VHS morbidity, reality falls beneath a pell of macabre 80’s carrion.
Your mortal coil begins to mutate – wet clay for the wetter chunkblow gods. Yours is the dead-meat face of snuff Maximus and the Devil master’s long hair. Deathdream’s seething red eyeballs and geeking luther’s hacksaw teeth, Striba’s werewolf-bitch teats and I Spit On Your Grave’ Sweet bloody ass. Weirder than Burial Ground’s little man-boy have you become, More hideous than Geogre Eastman’s grim reaper and fouler than The Black Devil Doll from Hell. Gibbering and baying and glitching, scuttling and Lurking andstatic-crawling, you are a bootleg abomination, an eleventh generation video nasty.
Gut-churning revulsion heralds your rebirth the rise of rewound rottedness. Bloodcurdling screams disgust a Fabio Frizzi score to your ears, you lurch towards that clerk like Might of the Demons monstrous Bigfoot. You rip her spine from Her irksome mouth and feast upon her piggish flesh, Defiling her sorry corpse with perversions unwitnessed by Shocking Asia.with a mocking howl, your are an unspeakable throwback, An abhorrent video classick madeflesh, and you have come to plague this world with the half-inch Horror Once more!!!!