Oh where oh where can my Playboys be?
My mom took em away from me
I gotta find out where she hid all my books
So I can read my Playboys when she leaves for work

Well I came home about a quarter to ten
Was down at Tommy's hanging out with my friends
I turned my key, I walked into the house
My Mom and Dad were sitting down on the couch
When I saw what Mom had, my face turned red
She said we found these underneath your bed
I couldn't talk, my knees got weak
My Mom found out that I'm a porno freak
And just when I thought things got as bad as they could
She said she's confiscating them for my own good

Oh where oh where can my Playboys be?
My mom took em away from me
I gotta figure out where she hid my books
So I can read my Playboys when she leaves for work

Well now it's late, I'm lying in my bed
Miss October's dancing through my head
Suddenly, my Dad turned on the light
Said "follow me" and tiptoed down out of sight
We went to the shed, I looked inside and said
"Holy cow, he found my porno pile!"
He winked his eye and then he went back up to bed
I turned around, went back into the shed
Well now it's over, but you know I thank the stars
She didn't find the tape inside my VCR

But now I've got my pornography
My Dad gave it all back to me
He's such a cool dude he gave back all my books
Now I can read my Playboys when Mom leaves for work