Everytime I clean my room I make another mess
Everytime I miss the bus Im late for a test
Everytime I'm re-incarnated its in the lowest form
I leave my window open everytime there is a storm
Everytime I have a hangover I have to go to work
Everytime I masturbate dry it tends to hurt
Everytime I pat a dog he bites me on the hand
Everytime I talk to aliens they dont understand
Everytime I skate I get another bruise
Everytime I get drunk I vomit on my shoes
Everytime I scratch the needle jumps
Everytime I drink milk it comes out in lumps
Everytime I freestyle I just talk shit
Everytime I catch the bus theres nowhere to sit
Everytime I catch the train Im hassled for a ticket
Everytime I bat in cricket first ball takes a wicket
Everytime Im drunk at a party in a toga
I pull a damn hamstring to prove I do yoga
Everytime I eat I get a pain in my chest
Everytime I think its heartburn its cardiac arrest
Everytime I make a call call waiting interrupts
Everytime I dump a load at someones house it wont flush
Everytime it wont flush it stains the ceramic
If you ever see me happy its because Im manic

Doomed to fail

Everytime I give advice it comes out wrong
Everytime I get raided my prints are on the bong
Everytime I score I get shitty leaf
I was living with the Navajo until they heard me dis the chief
Cause everytime we'd smoke a joint I'd end up with the roach
Everytime I skip sport I get drilled by the coach
But everytime I play footy I get tackled in the dirt
And I crack another rib and it really fucking hurts
Everytime I brush my teeth I find another cavity
Everytime I try to fly I discover gravity
Everytime I have a craving I've run out of food
And Everytime we spin the bottle Im the one who ends up nude
Everytime I give a girl an orgasm she fakes
Everytime I jam it in the condom breaks
Everytime I gamble I lose all my chips
Everytime I eat all bran I get the shits
But everytime I shit it takes about an hour
And theres never any paper so I have to take a shower
And everytime I shower the towels already wet
And its not wet from water but wet with cum and sweat
Everytime I pluck my pubic hair to make myself attractive
My dick gets sore and I fuck like a spastic
Everytime I write a song radio stations ban it
Cause when you play my records in reverse they're satanic

Worship Satan

Everytime I make a joke people take me serious
Everytime I go down on a girl shes on her periods
Everytime I drive a car a cop will pull me over
But I say Im someone else and that Im sober
Every blind date turns out to be blind
My looks are all I have and that is why I mind
Everytime I have the dream when Im at the school dance
Everyone is looking at me cause I dont have any pants
Then we play piggy in the middle Im the pig
Everytime we play Tiggy Im the one whos it
Everytime I lick a toad I get warts on my tongue
Everytime I see a killer bee its when Im getting stung
Everytime I play scrabble I make the word at
Every wet fart leaves a stain where I sat
Everytime I fuck ya mum she wants it in the bum
And everytime Im done its not because Ive cum
Everytime I crack onto a chick I pull my sack out
EVerytime I try to suck my dick I put my back out
Everytime I catch a wave I hit a coral reef
And everytime I order vegetarian I get beef

I get beef
A chickens not a vegetable!