So this is what fifty thousand dollars looks like
Ten o'clock shop in the morning
Whenever you'd like in the evening
So you can take it or you can pass it up
But if you walk away with my money
You must uphold your promise
To never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever
Kidnap me from the war zone again

24 months in this desert ain't all that bad
At least not if you are a camel so there's never a place without water
So instead of showing of my bling, my ride, my pad
Well, I'd like you to take a gander at my weapon stash
Shiny, beautiful, and black thank god for the poppy seed creators
And national pastimes and holidays

So today we stand and we proudly celebrate our independence
For we are a hardy people and we can provide for ourselves
Because we are independent of a knocked-down pipe line
We are independent of profiteering
Yes, we are independent of leaders with divine missions
We are independent of self-destruction
Yellow means proceed with caution
Orange means lock yourself in the basement
Red means kill your family before the haters get to them