You're just like a stranger
When you're in a bingo trance
The kids don't even
Know you anymore
With your bingo bag and dauber
And your lucky bingo pants
You look like a soldier
Going off to war
2. you beg the kids for money
But they hide their piggy banks
You're just like my uncle
When he needs a drink
You're mumbling and you're sweating
And you got the bingo shakes
I think its time to
See a bingo shrink

You used to go to bingo
Only once a week
Then you got the fever
Now you're a bingo freak

Chorus:
You play bingo up in lanse
With your mother and your aunts
And you tell me that its
Only recreation
But you always get so hot
When you have to split the pot
They have to kick you
Off the reservation

3. i remember on our honeymoon
I didn't sleep at all
Cause you kept yelling
Bingo in your sleep
You dragged me out of bed
And threw me up against the wall
And said “you better call
1-17 you creep”

4. then there was that other time
Down at the legion hall
Remember that ole’ lady
That you clobbered
You were playing 50 cards
And she was playing one
She yelled bingo and you
Stabbed her with your dauber

You used to go to bingo
To play it just for kicks
Now you're a bingo junkie
And you need a bingo fix

(repeat chorus)

5. now here you are just sitting
In this marquette county jail
For beating up that
Poor old bingo caller
You said that gummer rigged the game
He wouldn't let you win
He pretended that he
Didn't hear you holler
You tried to kick the habit
But it drove you up the wall
So you snuck out with your bingo buddies
Up to the bingo hall

(repeat chorus)