Lutefisk boiling on da stove
Italians at the door
They spill a pan of meatballs
All over martha's floor
Uncle heikki slips on them
And starts a great big fight
It's christmas time at my house
It's gonna be some night
2. the kids are on a sugar buzz
They just won't go to bed
They got the latest video games
Dancing in their heads
They spotted uncle bruno
Snoozing next to me
They popped out his false teeth
And hung 'em on the tree

Chorus:
Christmas time food and wine
Family friend and foe
We celebrate his birthday
By spending all our dough
Now were broke and happy
And full of christmas cheer
It's just to bad that christmas time
Comes only once a year

3. the mother-in-laws been drinking
From a jug of dago red
She's dancing on the table
With her bloomers on her head
The ministers on the organ
Playing rock around the clock
He tries to give a sermon but
He's just to drunk to talk

4. the brother-in-law plays santa clause
He's digging in his sack
The kids are shoving nickels
Down his big butt crack
He jumps up to chase them
And his pants fall to his knees
He trips on uncle bruno
And he totals out the tree

(repeat chorus)