I looked down into her bloodshot eyes
She said “save a beer for me"
I said, "i’ll have to drink it later cause now i gotta pee”
She reached down and grabbed my gonads
And she squeezed ‘em in her hand
She said “you ain’t going nowhere
Cause now i need a man”
But i gotta go real bad
And i just can't take a chance
I gotta beat it for the outhouse before i *** my pants
Then we both heard something coming
And it sounded like a tank
She said, “holy sit it's toivo!”
And she game ‘em one last yank

Chorus:
I was just a lonely yooper she grabbed me by the rump
She said her husband toivo he laid there like a stump
She said, “you don't have to worry we'll be safe out here"
"toivo never comes to camp unless he's hunting deer”

Then i saw ole'’ toivo,
He was loading up his gun
I ran out for the outhouse, i think he saw me run
When toivo came stomping down the path
I think he heard me groan
But when he opened the outhouse door
There was no one on the throne

I looked up from the sit pile
At the hole i just jumped through
I was sinking past my shoulders
I wondered what he'd do
Then toivo dropped his trousers
And i wished that i was dead
I could hear him up there giggling
As he sit upon my head

(repeat chorus)