I met her at the pine grove
One hot night in may
She was a blonde haired finnish girl
From up in champion way
She was short and broad of beam
Just like a jackp1ne stump
The boys all flocked around her
Like the seagulls at the dump
I told her i can’t polka
Cause i’m just too drunk to dance
She bounced me all around the floor
‘till i almost **** my pants
I fell in love with her that night
And asked her for a date
I took her to my uncle's camp
And now she’s three months late
Chorus:
She’s late she’s late
Oh lord she’s three months late
I took her to my uncle’s camp
And now she’s three months late

I said she was my first love
She said she'd show me how
She learned some from the maki boys
And some from watching cows
I fired up the sauna threw some
Water on the rocks
Then i took off everything
Except my woolen socks
I drank another six-pack
And she started looking good
She told me lay down on the bench
I wondered if i should
She beat me with some cedar boughs
And then i couldn’t wait
Now i’m all sore and black and blue
And now she’s three months late

(repeat chorus)

She dragged me to the altar
I fought her all the way
Her daddy and her brothers came
And told me what to say
Now he works for c.c.i.
Where the pay is really great
He’s gotta feed those 15 kids
And a wife that's three months late

(repeat chorus)