I met her up in misula she owned her own pulp truck
She took me for a ride one night and told me we were stuck
She put her arms around me and said i’ll keep you warm
I was so dumb and innocent i didn’t see the harm
Then they started wrestling and he almost had her beat
He fought that big ol’ beefalo till she pinned him to the seat
She made me drink a case of beer everything was a blur
When i work up this morning i was married to her

Chorus:
He’s married to a logger who looks just like his dad
But his dad don’t have a mustache and his feet don’t smell as bad
Up here in the last frontier men are men its true
But she makes arnold schwarzenegger look like peggy sue

I called up her dad to see if he would take her back
He laughed so hard i thought he’d have another heart attack
He said to find a paper bag to put upon her head
I grabbed a k-mart shopping bag and went on back to bed

He tried to put the bag on her but it was way too small
She got him in a hammer lock and pinned him to the wall
How do you think i feel waking up to you
If i’ve got to wear a paper bag you better put on two

(repeat chorus)