I remember what you said, that shit tore me to pieces
That I was somethin' that you wanted but not really needed
I used pray for someone like you
could've sworn I was dreamin'
Then I woke up and realized you were one of my demons
Now I'm contemplatin' life and wonderin' what's ahead
If it's without you, I might choose to not live it instead
You gave me life
and without you I fuckin' feel
like I'm dead (Feel like I'm dead!)
And as I'm writin' this song
I'm currently trapped in my head
And now it's dead weight, yeah, it hurts
I don't understand why we just couldn't work (Why?)
Wish that we could speak but I can't find words
You know that I'm hurt, and you don't care
and that just makes it worse (You don't care!)
So when I see you smile
I fill my cup and write another verse
Battlin' myself and evil thoughts
Tried to spend my life with you
I didn't know what it would cost
Should've never came to Cali, never opened up my heart
Wish I never found love (Fuck this place!)
'cause I never would've lost
This is every day, ask myself, "Why didn't she stay? "
Lookin' up to heaven askin' God to take away this pain
I know that I love you, and I know
that you don't feel the same
And that's what's killin' me inside
and causin' me to go insane, fuck
Said we're too different, told me we would never work
Always put me second
I would sprint but couldn't finish first
Got too comfortable and let my guard down
When you realized I did you took my feelings
and you threw 'em in the fuckin' dirt
Matchin' tattoos, I can't believe that you convinced me
Now you're gone, and it's the only thing
that keeps you here with me
Yeah, I hate you, but I love you, you left but still see me
If you needed it right now, I'd still give you my kidney
I'm lost, can't see another woman, I'm blind
And if I do, Gods gonna have to pry open my eyes
You gon' laugh and say I'm weak until you realize and find
That sharin' love is the meanin' and whole purpose of life
And when you do and hear this song
You will cry and sing along
And realize that you don't wanna die old and alone
And I'll be here still writin' on my phone
isolated in my home
Drunk, half-way gone screamin', "I still love you" (I swear)
And wouldn't put no one above you (No one)
Even though you fuckin' lied
somethin' in me still trusts you
I would die for you, kill for you, end my whole career
They could cut off both my arms
and I'd still find a way to hug you
I don't mean to make this music
but it's somethin' that I must do
Fuck you! I motherfuckin' hate that I love you
I only run to you 'cause I can't run from you
You took my child away, he was my fuckin' son, too

I hate that I love you
I hate that I love you