They don't write songs like that anymore!

You turn me off, and then you leave me in here
And then I'm scratching at, your door, begging you for, some more
You make me hide, so your friends can come inside, and tell me to be quiet
I make some noise and I hear this haggled voice yelling "Hey what's the riot?"
And I hear you say...

It's only the dog
Or maybe the cat
Or maybe the bird
Uh huh honey it's only me

He jumps off, his chair, said "I'm a gonna look in there"
My heart hits, the floor, as he came toward the door
He opened up to see, and fortunately for me, I resembled sherpa jacket
He closed the door, admitted he was wrong, about all the racket
Then I heard you say...

It's only the dog
Or maybe the cat
Or maybe it's that bird
Uh huh honey it's only me

Finally, your friends, say they're gonna be goin'
Couldn't wait to hear, "Hey, you come out now boy, it's all clear"
Gave me the sign, I was out in record time, but to my surprise
From under the bed came my friend Ed
From behind the drapes came 'cousin and along with the guys'
Now what you gonna say?

It's only the dog
Or maybe the cat
Or maybe it's that bird
Uh huh honey it's only me