(How many times did I cross your mind?)
(Or am I just a memory)
(Ayy, who that? John Gotitt)
I tried giving up
When times was hard, life was rough, I tried giving up
Yeah, yeah, yeah, huh, huh

When times was hard, life was rough
I tried giving up (I tried giving up)
I'm like, "Maybe I wasn't meant for much"
(I wasn't meant for much)
I miss big bruh so much sometimes
I wish I went with him (I wish I went with him)
Like, "Don't worry, here I come" (Don't worry, here I come)
I'm popping meds, laying in bed
tryna wake up dead (I'm tryna wake up dead)
Instead I wake up aching
staring at my ceiling fan (I'm staring at my ceiling fan)
Voice in my head said
"Quit playing and just finish it" (Ayy, boy, quit playin')
One to the head if you wanna end this shit
Let's just get it finished with
(Let's just get it finished with)

When my lil' cousin shot his self
my auntie found his body (My auntie found him)
I still be fighting that urge inside me
I need counseling probably
But who gon' listen to all this different shit
you know I been into?
I can tell you somethin' that'll make you sick
that you'll swear isn't true (Yeah, sick)
Have you ever dreamed you couldn't see but voices visit you?
And tell you you'll be rich by twenty-six
if you survive that boom (Survive that shots)
Hospital views, hard to get you stable, it's so many goons
Bright lights get dark like closing tunes
the reapers in the room
Grim said he'll take me far away soon as I tell 'em to
Then I felt Reek shake me
"Gee, you staying, we got shit to do"
I wanted to go, but you told me
"No", I'm glad I heard you spoke
Live or die, decide 'cause both is painful
either way it goes

When times was hard, life was rough
I tried giving up (I tried giving up)
I'm like, "Maybe I wasn't meant for much"
(I wasn't meant for much)
I miss big bruh so much sometimes
I wish I went with him (I wish I went with him)
Like, "Don't worry, here I come" (Don't worry, here I come)
I'm popping meds, laying in bed
tryna wake up dead (I'm tryna wake up dead)
Instead I wake up aching
staring at my ceiling fan (I'm staring at my ceiling fan)
Voice in my head said, "Quit playing
and just finish it" (Ayy, boy, quit playin')
One to the head if you wanna end this shit
Let's just get it finished with
(Let's just get it finished with)

Ayy, yeah, magic, you know?
I ain't mad at you
You feel me, I, I salute your bravery, for real
Sometimes I wish I was as brave as you
Whether you meant it or not
You got away from this motherfucker
Mm, we'll make 'em see it though, how far it go
(How many times did I cross your mind?)
(Or am I just a memory)