I went up for my interview on the forth day of July
Personnel man he questioned me, until I nearly cried
Made me fill in forms, until I shook from fear
About the colour of my toilet roll and if my cousin’s queer

He asked me how many jobs I had before
He nearly had a heart attack, when I answered: four!
Four jobs in twenty years, oh this could never be
We only take on men, who’ll work until they die

He said: “Here’s your goldwatch and the shackles for your chain
And your piece of paper to say you left here sane
If you have a son, who wants a good career
Just get him to sign on the dotted line, and work for fifty years.”

He took me outside to where the gravestones stand in line
“This is where we burry them in quick stone and in line
If you come to work for us, on this you must agree
That if you’re going to die, please do it during tea break”

“Here’s your goldwatch and the shackles for your chain
And your piece of paper to say you left here sane
If you have a son, who wants a good career
Just get him to sign on the dotted line, and work for fifty years”

This story that you’ve heard, you may think rather queer
But it is the truth, you’ll be surprised to hear
I did not want no job upon the board
I just wanted to take the broom, and sweep the bloody floor

“Here’s your goldwatch and the shackles for your chain
And your piece of paper to say you left here sane
If you have a son, who wants a good career
Just get him to sign on the dotted line, and work for fifty years”

“Here’s your goldwatch and the shackles for your chain
And your piece of paper to say you left here sane
If you have a son, who wants a good career
Just get him to sign on the dotted line, and work for fifty years”