Cops & Buns
Patrolman Lefemine: Now, we don't come up here
because we feel like walkin' four flights
at three o'clock in the morning
FZ: Yeah
Patrolman Lefemine: We were up here last night
Now for us
FZ: Last night?
Patrolman Lefemine: Yes
FZ: I wasn't here last night
Patrolman Lefemine
For us to continually come up to this here place
every night and not show no action other than to say
yes a corrective indictment
Guy #1: Oh, sure this is ridiculous
Patrolman Lefemine: We look kinda bad
I mean, let's be honest
Now if you had to give me any kinda reccomendation
or mark my word, you'll say, "Who the hell's kiddin' who?
This guy's a mistake, every night, 3 to 4, 2 to 4
betwen those hours you guys are at 53 E 10 st
what are you doin' there every night?
You mean you, you permit this condition
to continue on without once giving a summons? "
Alright, your lawyer said to knock it off!
Uh, we're puttin' ourselves over backwards
with these people. Do you know what we're doin'?
Do you know what we're doin'?
FZ: No, tell me. Please tell me
Patrolman Lefemine: Alright
Well this is, if we're up here once we're up here twenty times
I know that little guy, like a, like the guy
at the, like a long-lost brother
Now if we ever get called down
if this ever goes to a big explosion, and they say
"Officer, what did you do, did you issue summonses? "
They get, this is all in the rekkid book
how many times we've been up here. This is all rekkids
FZ: M-hmm
Patrolman Lefemine
Now if these people wanna subpoena these rekkids
they can subpoena these rekkids
An' they can find out how many times we've been
This is us on, wait! This is us alone!
An' they say, "Officer, what did you do?
Warn 'em? You mean to tell me you were up here
about twenty times an you never issued a summons? "
Guy #1: There have been summonses
Patrolman Lefemine
Well, WE never issued em!
How many summonses have you gotten for noise?
Guy In Charge: What, me personally, or the studio?
Patrolman Lefemine: The studio! The studio
Guy In Charge: I don't know how many
but there's a court case pending right now
Guy #1: We've gotten one
Patrolman Lefemine: ONE! ONE!
And how many times have I, eh, uh, hey listen!
As I say, if I've been up here once I've been up here
twenty times already
FZ: Hey look, stop it, pack that stuff up
stop making NOISE you guys!
Guy In Charge: Yeah, well, I understand, he didn't know
Patrolman Lefemine
Well, who's in charge here at the studio?
Guy #1: Here he is
Guy In Charge: In charge?
Patrolman Lefemine: IN charge
Guy #1: He's more or less in charge
Patrolman Lefemine: Are you in charge?
Guy In Charge: I don't run the studio, I just
Patrolman Lefemine: Alright, listen, lemme tell you one thing
Guy In Charge: I'm in, I'm in charge
Patrolman Lefemine: You're in charge at this point
Guy In Charge: Right
Patrolman Lefemine: My name is Patrolman Lefemine
FZ: Here, have a BUN
Patrolman Lefemine: Now, as of tonight
Guy In Charge: Right
FZ: You want a BUN?
Patrolman Lefemine: If I come back here
and every night that I do come back here
I don't care who says he's in charge, I will issue a summons
Guy #1: I'm issuing you a bun
Patrolman Lefemine
An' anybody thinks it's a great joke
you can all laugh in the court
Guy #1: Yeah, I issue it
Guy In Charge: But, uh
Patrolman Lefemine
You guys ain't got one hit record by now, my goodness
Guy In Charge: We have, we have to
Guy #1: It takes a long time
Patrolman Lefemine: You know what I mean
This is ridiculous!
FZ: Are you sure you don't want
one of those breakfast rolls on your way down the stairs?
Guy In Charge: Yeah
Patrolman Lefemine: You better believe
that I don't want nuthin'
Guy In Charge: Who gets, who gets the summonses
is the, the organization?
Patrolman Lefemine: Whoever it is in charge at the time
He could say Joe Blow
I don't care what kind of a name he gives me
Then if the courts decide
if they wanna know who he's takin' orders from
they'll summons that person to court. That's all there is to it
Guy #1: Alright. Take care
Guy In Charge: Right
Guy #1: Okay
FZ: Nighty-night!