I'm a firm believer in math
& having just completed a statistical analysis
of the course of my friendships
over the period of X to X'
that is, ie., since we met
the numbers show that everyone who was my friend
at point X, whom I introduced to you
is no longer my friend, but now instead
is a friend of yours

To correlate my results
I undertook fieldwork of a participant oberver nature
I introduced myself to you as someone else
then, when I wasn't around
I asked you about me
& I carefully noted your responses
plotting them against the same answers when
posed by me
and this is the result

Thought you were my friend / But I was wrong No one but myself to blame / So I
blame you / Backstab! / Stabbed myself in the back