Uncle Toad sittin' by the old south gate
Waitin' them boys they bin stayin' out late
Uncle Toad thinks they're way out of line
Maybe they think he is past his prime
Uncle Toad said better straighten up right
When Uncle Toad spoke it was not a pretty sight

Uncle Toad lived in the wood out back
Lived in the shade of a utility shack
He looked in at the big brick housr
At the girls as quiet as a mouse

Uncle Toad said you had best get it right
When Uncle Toad spoke it was not a pretty sight

Uncle Toad tucked in the compost pile
Out by the back door look at him smile
He said kid stop drinkin' that brew
Plan while ya can or the joke's on you

Uncle Toad said better straighten up right
When Uncle Toad spoke it was not a pretty sight

Uncle Toad sittin' by the swimmin' pool
Sits in the sun when the weather turns cool
Sits in the sun when the girls walk by
Maybe they think he's a little bit sly

Uncle Toad said you had best get it right
When Uncle Toad spoke it was not a pretty sight

Uncle Toad sittin' by the cool mill race
All day long with a grin on his face
He said boys you had better not try
Kissin' 'em girls cause I won't stand by

Uncle Toad sittin' by the wrought iron fence
Lookin' at the moon like it don't make sense
We say Toad here's lookin' at you
Hopin' you get your wish too

Sway to the left, sway to the right
When Uncle Toad spoke it was not a pretty sight