Heathers The Musical
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My Dead Gay Son

Heathers The Musical


Ram'S Dad
You wait just a minute, Paul!
It is ignorant
hateful talk like yours that makes this world
a place our boys could not live in!
They were not dirty!
They were not wrong!
They were two lonely verses
in the Lord's great song!

Kurt'S Dad
Our boys were pansies, Bill!

Ram'S Dad
Yes! My boy's a homosexual
and that don't scare me none
I want the world to know
I love my dead gay son!

I've been thinking. Praying
Reading some magazines
And it's time we opened our eyes

Well, the good Lord made the universe
The Lord created man
And I believe it's all a part of his gigantic plan
I know God has a reason
for each mountain and each flower
and why he chose to let our boys
get busy in the shower!

They were not dirty
They were not fruits!
They were just two stray laces
in the Lord's big boots
Well, I never cared for homos much
until I reared me one
but now I've learned to love
I love my dead gay son!

Congregation
He loves his son, he loves his son!
His dead gay son!

Ram'S Dad
Now, I say my boy's in heaven
and he's tanning by the pool
The cherubim walk him and him, and Jesus says it's cool!
They don't have crime or hatred
there's no bigotry or cursin'
Just friendly fellows dressed up
like their fav'rite village person!
They were not dirty
They just had flair!
They were two bright red ribbons
in the Lord's long hair
Well, I used to see a homo and go reachin' for my gun
but now I've learned to love
And furthermore!

These boys were brave as hell!
These boys, they knew damn well!
Those folks would judge 'em
they were desperate to be free!
They took a rebel stance, stripped to their underpants!
Paul, I can't believe that you
still refuse to get a clue
after all that we been through
I'm talking you and me!

In the summer of '83

Kurt'S Dad
That was one hell of a fishing trip

Congregation
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
They were not dirty - No!
And not perverse -- No no!
They were two stray rhinestones
on the Lord's big purse!

Both Dads
Our jobs are now continuing that work
that they begun!

Congregation
'Cause now we love, love, love!
We love your dead

Both Dads
They're up there disco dancing
to the thump of angel wings!
They grab a mate and roller skate
while Judy Garland sings!
They live a playful afterlife
that's fancy-free and reckless!

Kurt'S Dad
They swing upon the pearly gates

Both Dads & Congregation
And wear a pearly necklace!
Whoo!
They were not dirty!
They were good men!
And now they're happy bear cubs
in the Lord's big den!

Both Dads
Go forth and love each other now
like our boys would have done

Everyone
We'll teach the world to love

Both Dads
I love my dead gay son!
My son! My son!

Congregation
Not half bad, your dead gay son!
Wish I had your dead gay son!
Thank you, dad, for your

Both Dads & Congregation
Dead gay son!

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