I may have played for the home team
Yeah, I play all sides of the field
I swing my dick on both sides of the fence
I'm a friend of Dorothy

I have a well-earned reputation for being very well-hung... right

Wrong, yeah, wrong direction
Lost, yeah, I'm lost again

The light's on upstairs but nobody is home
I'm possibly mildly retarded
Now I'm appearing in porno films and wearing a chicken suit

And I'm a rude, crude, selfish stuck-up snot who possibly prefer myself

Wrong, yeah, wrong direction
Lost, yeah, I'm lost again