I've known you since Brad and Angelina
We go back like Pontiac seats
If I got an aisle with a mess I gotta clean up
I know you'll be showin' up with bleach

All those names that we don't ever speak of
Got a couple nights that have slipped my mind
Proof and photographs have been deleted
If you ever needed an alibi

'Cause dirt on you is dirt on me
And we both know our hands ain't clean
If it all blows up and we end up on the news
If you go down, I'm goin' down too

It's a good thing we're each other's kinda crazy
Ain't no judgment or keepin' score
If you rob a bank, I'm your getaway Mercedes
God knows that's what friends are for

'Cause dirt on you is dirt on me
And we both know our hands ain't clean
If it all blows up and we end up on the news
If you go down, I'm goin' down too
If you do down, I'm goin' down too, yeah

I keep all your secrets by the dozen
You know where my skeletons sleep
Hypothetically, if you ever kill your husband
Hand on the Bible, I'd be lyin' through my teeth

'Cause dirt on you is dirt on me
And we both know our hands ain't clean
If it all blows up and we end up on the news
If you go down, I'm goin' down too

Our bodies are buried and they're in the same ditch
So even if I wanted to, I can't snitch
30 to life would go quicker with you, yeah
So, if you go down, I'm goin' down too
If you go down, I'm goin' down too
If you go down, I'm goin' down too