Uncle Toad, sitting by the old south gate, waiting them boys, they been staying out late.
Uncle Toad thinks they're way out of line, maybe they think he is past his prime.
Uncle Toad said, better straighten up right, when Uncle Toad spoke, it was not a pretty sight.

Uncle Toad lived in the wood out back, lived in the shade of a utility shack.
He looked in at the big brick house at the girls as quiet as a mouse.
Uncle Toad said, you had best get it right, when Uncle Toad spoke, it was not a pretty sight.

Uncle Toad tucked in the compost pile out by the back door, look at him smile.
He said kid stop drinking that brew, plan while you can or the joke's on you.
Uncle Toad said, better straighten up right, when Uncle Toad spoke, it was not a pretty sight.

Uncle Toad sitting by the swimming pool, sits in the sun when the weather turns cool.
Sits in the sun when the girls walk by, maybe they think he's a little bit sly.
Uncle Toad said, better straighten up right, when Uncle Toad spoke, it was not a pretty sight.

Uncle Toad sitting by the cool mill race all day long with a grin on his face.
He said, boys you had better not try kissing 'em girls cause I won't stand by.
Uncle Toad sitting by the wrought iron fence looking at the moon like it don't make sense.
We say, Toad here's looking at you, hoping you get your wish too.
Sway to the left, sway to the right, when Uncle Toad spoke, it was not a pretty sight.