[Intro]

[Verse 1]
You crack your thumbs, sit down, and run
Over the headphone cord
Drop heaps of crumbs of your sweet bun
Deep into my keyboard
And then you type with these
Fingers that are still not clean
I can live with dirty keys
But you let others touch my screen

[Verse 2]
Every day I watch you
Living the Adobe Suite life
Makes me want to
Office myself three sixty five

[Pre-Chorus]
You take a break from working
Get up and leave so I'm
Releasing something that's been lurking
It is payback time

[Chorus]
I've got an update
Want me to restart now or wait
Too late
You left an open file
Did not save for a while
Turn off and on
Oh no, and now it's gone
Do as you dictate
Your actions taught me how to hate
Primate
You return and cry
Log in and wonder why
Edge won't stop
Appearing on your desktop

[Verse 3]
You think you're Windowsgyver
Since you plugged in a device
Installed an ancient driver
And then only crashed it twice
Yet don't get it needs to buffer
'Cause your internet is crap
So you want to see me suffer
And give me a wimpy slap

[Verse 4]
You play some fancy games
Can't you hear I'm out of breath
You want those golden sixty frames
But get blue screens of death

[Pre-Chorus]
You take a break from playing
Get up and leave so I'm
Releasing what you kept delaying
It is payback time

[Chorus]
I've got an update
Want me to restart now or wait
Too late
You left an open file
Did not save for a while
Turn off and on
Oh no, and now it's gone
Do as you dictate
Your actions taught me how to hate
Primate
You return and cry
Log in and wonder why
Edge won't stop
Appearing on your desktop

[Verse 5]
Users fall for every scam
Each contact in their outlook
Eventually gets harmful spam
I feel like a death notebook
What use is the best barrier
When they're the virus carrier
Hot singles in your area
They cheer, the more the merrier

[Chorus]
I've got an update
Want me to restart now or wait
Too late
You left an open file
Did not save for a while
Turn off and on
Oh no, and now it's gone
Do as you dictate
Your actions taught me how to hate
Primate
You return and cry
Log in and wonder why
Edge won't stop
Appearing on your desktop