"And then 4 months down the road the idiot gear kicks in, and I ask about the ex-boyfriend which, as we all know is a really dumb move but you know how it is -- you don't want to know, but you just have to know, right? You know, stupid guy bullshit."
[Louis Logic] Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls: in this corner quivering in the white trunks we have the unsuspecting boyfriend facing up to the champion, his well-seasoned girlfriend. The three knockdown rule is in full effect
[Verse 1] Ding Ding That's the sound of curiousity peaking like cops that pat you down Boyfriends probably seeking the dirt on the skirt as if he's deep in the earth Like who had reached in the shirt and who was sleeping with her, but hey -- She's only human and probably only doing the dude who she loves most So you know who she's screwing But while you're lying there spooning assuming life is just all good You indavertently missed the size of the falsehood Living life in a small hood you probably collide With lots of the guys who used to climb on top of your wife So it's not a surprise you're asking the stupidest questions: 'Who was the best in the sack?' and 'How many dudes have you slept with?' But the chance is, you didn't want them answers And can't live with it she used to be just a dancer Making the fast tips you would stuff her pants with And fast as mass transit she thought you were romantic
[Chorus] I'm so glad we met (hey shorty) Come on girl try to be patient, I know I'm a pain in the ass But your ex-boyfriend has me stressed (back off dude) And all of the sex stuff should just remain in the past But we can't get married yet, (no we can't get married yet) It isn't just that its greener, its also the length of the grass But somehow you keep on running to me -- and we keep living in fear of the idiot gear
[Verse 2] Right about this time, most of y'all are just wishin that this was fiction And itchin to ask your chick if your dick isn't a depiction Of fitting inside a stitching when you're sewing it up And to think that most of this stuff is just over a fuck I know what you're thinking, we've all grown up with women And living without em seems like its harder than living with em But if you hit em, you'll probably end up living in prison fellas Then you'll be someone's bitch -- I hope your girlfriend isn't jealous This cinderella shit is totally irrelevant You'll never get a girl older than 7 thats been celibate Cause every chick has been around the block with a guy or ten And guys are sensitive, its better that you lie to them Even the violent men who's dressed up in street clothes With stilettos and heat knows they got delicate egos If she chose to tell you all persons with whom She put in work in the room, it would burst your balloon
[Chorus]
[Verse 3] Looking at your sweetest snapshot, that's when you start to wonder About the backdrop of her other lovers When you discover another flick of her hidden up under there Dressed in summer wear, with her ex giving her bunny ears And no one wants to share their chick with last guy To get rid of the bad vibes you figured you ask why Her past life is still chilling in the picture frame She'd probably forget his name if the dick's the same Which is lame, but for some dumb reason The last bum seeps into your dreams and you become unseasoned Then one evening, you build up the heart to ask her Disaster -- with your lungs breathin hard as asthma And after she breaks down and tells you the truth It leads to a fight and she's yelling at you And I'm convinced of this: being your queen's only king Yo man see Louis right -- ignorance is bliss
[Chorus]
Oh what's a guy to do
Now listen to me papi You're all fucking idiots How do you like them apples?
"You know what I don't think we need to do the thing where we tell each other everything ..."