Y'know, when you're drunk by youself? Started like this
These are the things that I think
When I've had a bottle of red wine to drink
And I hope another dream don't have to fall short
Just lounging in my basketball shorts

Look, I've finally married someone I can love, I'm not alone
But marriage has some struggles of its own
And that creates a problem 'cause if I go and put
That in my lyrics then my wife will be the first person to hear it
I married my best friend. I've got the best
Friends and a stack of photos covered in some dust
Particles and some dead skin
Sometimes I think about the baby that I used to be
And how it's all just ultimately leading to my eulogy

You see, life hurts like a bitch sometimes
I mean sometimes, I hate the fuckin' sunshine
So I go get enough wine at one time to hide up
In my confines and unwind while vibin' to some sublime
I just want to take my mind off all this angry fan mail
Accusing me of selling out, telling me I ran stale
I'm getting hurt by people that I'm trying to please
Apparently I need to loan the fucking flying trapeze
I bought another lottery ticket tonight and out the six
Numbers I picked not one single digit was right
But life's been so stressful for me lately I'll be honest
The last thing I need is a hundred million dollars
These are the things that I think when I've had
Two bottles of red wine to drink
And I hope another dream don't have to fall short
Just lounging in my jayhawks basketball shorts

These days my dad is my friend
I mean last night we had martinis with gin and
He told me that he thinks beyonce is a 9. 5- maybe a 10
And she has really pretty skin, and I smiled
I like smiling. I like fantasizing about the day
I'm gonna own my own island
I like fantasizing about the day that this anxiety
Won't constantly be turning all my skies gray
Over-analytical, constantly self-critical, I don't need
Three wishes, just one: Make me invisible
'Cause I remember days I'd get on stage to a crowd of twelve
People and only seven of 'em paid
Rich kids with college degrees coming up and saying
"Fuck fame and money. Never follow 'em please

I love your music, I downloaded all of it free
Why would you care? You're a rap star, your profit is deep. "
Jeezus, life hurts like a bitch but sometimes I love it
Seriously, sometimes I look at my life and straight love it
But only on the days I close my eyes and say... Fuck it! (fuck it!)
These are the things that I think when I've had
Two bottles of red wine to drink
And I hope another dream don't have to fall short
Just lounging in my jayhawks basketball shorts
And I'm hoping for and I'm hoping for tomorrow
Cause paradise is found in a bottle, paradise is found in a bottle, yes it is
And I'm hoping for and I'm hoping for tomorrow
Cause paradise is found in a bottle
Paradise is found in a bottle, yes it is

Look man, I'm just trying to find a pot of gold
I fear the day that people say my heart has gotten cold
Spine broken, hurt by pressure
I've been called worse by better
However
There's dark purple stains on my cracked lips
My wine glass is empty, I just took my last sip
I'm afflicted by disease when I drink
When I'm drunk all this pumpkings are the things that I think
In my basketball shorts