If you think there's something
If you think there's something
If you think there's something

I don't care what I look like
I don't care what you think
Because I know these things are not important
They're just material and ink

I like things comfortable
And I like things that look real good
I don't care about the cut, it is enough
If it's smooth and not too rough

If you think there's something
Could it be that there's not?
If you think there's something
Is there or is there not?
If you think there's something
It can be that there's not

So if you think there is something
Something that there is not
Ooh-ooh, perhaps a pair of trousers
Or a band that plays rock

If you think there's something
Could it be that there's not?
If you think there's something
Is there or is there not?
If you think there's something
If you think there's something
If you think there's something

Dodgy instrumental break

That fine physique, that pretty face
Lights up his fantasies - puts them in place
Oh what's his stance, where is he coming from?
We try to follow but he's gone

If you think there's something
Could it be that there's not?
If you think there's something
Is there or is there not?
If you think there's something
It can be that there's not
If you think there's something

If you think there's something
If you think there's something
If you think there's something

Perhaps and maybe not

If you think there's something
Can we agree there's not?
If you think there's something
And we say that there's not
If you think there's something