[MARY POPPINS] By the time the wind has blown The weather vane around I’ll show you, if I can No matter what the circumstance For one thing I’m renown My character is spit-spot spic and span
I’m practically perfect In every way
[JANE] Practically perfect?
[MARY POPPINS] So people say
Each virtue virtually knows no bound Each trait is great and patently sound
I’m practically perfect from head to toe If I had a fault it would never dare to show I’m so practically perfect In every way
Both prim and proper and never too stern Well-educated yet willing to learn I’m clean and honest, my manner refined And I wear shoes of the sensible kind
I suffer no nonsense and whilst I remain There’s nothing else I feel I need explain
I’m practically perfect in every way Practically perfect, that’s my forte Uncanny nannies are hard to find Unique, yet meek, unspeakably kind
I’m practically perfect, not slightly soiled Running like an engine that’s just been freshly oiled I’m so practically perfect In every way
Well, those are my credentials. Perhaps you have a few questions?
[MICHAEL] Not temperamental?
[MARY POPPINS] Never.
[MICHAEL] Not grouchy or gruff?
[MARY POPPINS] Oh, the very thought.
[JANE] Will you stay tender When the going gets tough?
[MARY POPPINS] Quite the contrary.
[MICHAEL] Do you read stories Without a big fuss?
[MARY POPPINS] Mmm-hmm.
[JANE] Or have objections To playing with us?
[MARY POPPINS] Oh, I like games, but I choose them. Some minor improvements may not go amiss But at all times you must remember this
[JANE & MICHAEL] You’re practically perfect In every way
[MARY POPPINS] I guarantee
[JANE & MICHAEL] Practically perfect We hope you’ll stay
[MARY POPPINS] No flies on me
Each virtue virtually knows no bound Each trait is great
[JANE & MICHAEL] And patently sound
[MARY POPPINS] Patently sound Spit-spot! Jane, put your toys away, please.
[JANE] Do I have to?
[MARY POPPINS] Yes. Michael, tidy your things.
[MICHAEL] It’s not fair!
[MARY POPPINS] I didn’t say I was fair. I said… I’m practically perfect, and here’s my aim By the time I leave here you both will be the same You’ll be practically perfect
[JANE & MICHAEL] Practically perfect
[MARY POPPINS, JANE & MICHAEL] You (We) will be practically perfect In every way