I wasn't the smartest boy in the household by a longshot I knew of wandering the graveyard That it's best met with an onslaught Of something called shudders It's when your body trembles and your heart skips, sputters And you mutter counter-evils, and you grip On to your charms I've never comprehended the alarm Caused by things described variously as scary Terrifying, ghastly. could I follow this? barely Certainly never felt it. never shuddered, and my pops Sent me packing, called me bad luck kid, head full of rocks I talked so loudly of my ignorance as I roamed Complained I couldn't get frightened And might have bemoaned That I'd been disowned. a friendly hangman beckoned But I partied with his danglers, didn't shudder for a second Then I heard about a castle in the distance That was haunted Nobody lasted there an evening Could it be just what I wanted? didn't know
Didn't know There was anything In the world To be frightened of
I wasn't the first one to show up claiming bravery The rumored ends of my predecessors were unsavory They'd become the catering at a feast of ghouls and spirits! Neither the king nor his people would set foot near it This seemed good; fear It glistened in their eyes as they spoke I figured I could pick the habit up and go (maybe all the way back home Having understood shuddering) Did the townspeople deem me a simpleton? utterly What a first night it was, too! the hellbeasts Were like from a nightmare. I think? I don't get bad dreams I tried to nap but the furniture floated and spun We did some doughnuts in the stable yard! fun The second night's vigilance wasn't any more fruitful Zombies down the chimney till the whole rec room's full All-bone nine-pin, glad I brought my lathe Though I lost some money gambling My denseness was unscathed
Third and final evening, my reanimated corpse Cuddle-buddy tried to strangle me. reliable sources Report that I chucked him back in his coffin and sighed Despaired of finding shudders locally and set to stride Didn't I want my reward? the hand of the castle's princess? A path to power and riches, and this is its ingress? And this is my dimness, I guess But I choose to keep questing Find the next hypothesis of scariness and keep testing But here's that princess requesting that I reconsider And as I spy her she reminds me of my babysitter A village girl I had a crush on as a lad Who never even noticed that I couldn't make eye contact This one's staring me down She's used to getting her way, been wearing a crown Is she scaring me now, with her "think about it, please? " I got this odd involuntary shaking in my knees