Dear Diary Today was a long day in school and I haven't really eaten anything yet today But I guess that's good I just wanted to write something real quick before I go off to bed
So here it goes Dear diary
I'm fourteen and I always feel so nervous Tell me why is it that everyone is so perfect While I feel so worthless, and they look so happy While lately for me, my mood has been crappy
And I have come to believe all the things that I'm seeing On magazines and TV, of every single perfect being All the girls with perfect bodies, and such amazing skin Oh how I would kill to live the life that they are in
I've been trying to lose weight over that past couple of weeks Throwing up after meals, on the rare times that I eat But that isn't enough, I still need to do much more To get this guy to notice me, people wonder what for
There's so much room in my tummy that it isn't funny I don't wanna be people's dummy, but either way I feel dumpy Most of the time I am left here, thinking to myself Oh god is this worth it, or do I need some help Like
I've been used by guys, I've been hurt by girls I've been hit by my mom, and cursed by the world So I keep losing weight, just trying to be perfect I'm waiting for somebody to tell me that I'm worth it
You're not alone
I'm twenty-three and just ran across my old diary I opened it up but i really don't know what inspired me To do this, but I was instantly in tears To think of how lost I was during those young years
And that guy that I mentioned back when I was fourteen He's my fiancé now; I guess that I'm living a dream We got a small house, a nice car and a good life But my arms are still scarred from using my own knife
But he accepts me how I am, and he knows about my past And after all that, he still says that we're gonna last And I love him, I love him, I love him with all my heart I honestly couldn't take it if we ever got pulled apart
If I could say one thing to me at age fourteen It would be that you'll find a guy who will treat you like a queen It gets better than it is, don't worry about your size And never think you're alone, someone out there hears your cries Saying
I've been used by guys, I've been hurt by girls I've been hit by my mom, and cursed by the world So I keep losing weight, just trying to be perfect I'm waiting for somebody to tell me that I'm worth it