I insert my (censored noun) Into your welcoming (omit) And ease it slowly down The whole length of your (unfit) I begin to (taboo verb) you As you gaze back with a smile Which almost triggers my (word missing) But don't (unacceptable)
My enormous (word deleted) Is in between your lips You clasp my (crossed out plural) With one hand on my hips I feel your warm (unsuitable) I'm about to (slang, taboo) I love being (questionably phrased) You clearly love it too
But there is someone standing over us, here for our own good Who takes the words out of our mouths as we do the deed He collects them in a bag with a peevish little sigh In case innocents or grandmothers should somehow happen by Oh our kindly friend the censor has our best interests at heart But my love song is now missing all its most important parts
I give you (inadmissible) You respond with (phrase removed) I (cut) you then (blue-pencil) you With (obscene: restricted use) We (substitute a euphemism) I (censored) in your (too obscene) Finally (edit) on your (blank) Just thinking of it makes me want to (criminal act)
But there is someone standing over me, here for my own good He hands me back the words I need to sing about my deed They are wrapped up like confetti in a small brown paper bag With some non-transparent sellotape so you can't peep through the cracks Oh my kindly friend the censor I am shocked When I open it and read 'vagina', 'penis', 'suck', 'cunt', 'cock'
Oh my kindly friend the censor, this cannot be what you mean To distill the very essence of obscene?