When I was a little whippersnapper of a boy just 19 years of age And I happened to stain the sheets on the bed or I happened to misbehave The stains were lovingly washed away in a tub of soapy water By the ladies I protected from a world of horrible slaughter
Then when at last I came of age and had to make my way I set up shop with a dozen girls, so popular was I I marched them up to the top of the town and there I had them loiter There are many worse ways to earn your pay In a world of horrible slaughter
But whenever a piece of ultraviolent thuggery is done And the world looks on with heart in mouth, speechless and stunned Remember that every offender is his own mother's son Here is the song that I have always sung:
Give me mass in the morning, the booky's at noon The brothel all night long But I'll always be true to the ladies, the ladies understand I'm their favourite They love me, I treat them like shit
One of my girls did a runner one day with a lad from the orchestra Who scraped a living on a violin and stayed at home with Ma I ground his instrument into the ground And Tracy, when I caught her, that time got off lightly In this world of horrible slaughter
Now I've got a little whippersnapper of my own Just at the difficult age And if he happens to slash a girl to test His army penknife blade The blood is lovingly washed away in a tub of soapy water By the girls he may protect one day from a world of horrible slaughter
Give me mass in the morning, the booky's at noon The brothel all night long But I'll always be true to the ladies The ladies understand I'm their favourite They love me I treat them like shit