I've got a ferret sticking up my nose
He's got a ferret sticking up his nose
How it got there I can't tell
But now it's there it hurts like hell
And what is more it radically affects my sense of smell.

I can see a bare-bottomed mandril
Slyly eyeing his upper nostril
If he jumps inside there too
I really won't know what to do
I'll be a proud possessor of a kind of nasal zoo
A nasal zoo

I've got a ferret sticking up my nose
And what is worse it constantly explodes
Ferrets don't explode you say
But it happened nine times yesterday
And I should know 'cause each time
I was standing in the way

I've got a ferret sticking up my nose
I've got a ferret sticking up my nose
How it got there I can't tell
But now it's there it hurts like hell
And what is more it radically affects my sense of smell.