Look at my facial hair
(Oh man, hot damn! It's everywhere!
Where'd you get that beard?)
I grew it
(How'd you keep it so clean?)
I shampoo it
(Yeah!)

I really wish I could grow a moustache
(Why don't you?)
Well, frankly, I don't have the cash
You gotta take care of your facial hair
Otherwise it gets scruffy and bare

The elements of style
For the beard owner
The essential manual
For owners of beards

Trim it, cut it, comb it, style it!
Clean it, and set with violet
Love it, but don't get violent
Rub it, but not in public
Eat with it, but don't get messy
The only rule is, keep it classy

La la la la la la la la la la la la

I was on a fishing boat
And I tried to grow a beard but it wouldn't float
(Oh no!)
Three weeks later, out at sea
I realised this beard wasn't working for me
I tried to shave it off, but I had no cream
Everyone on the boat could hear me scream
(Ahh!)

The elements of style
For the beard owner
The essential manual
For owners of beards

You ready?
Let's go

Love for me and love for you
Love for each other
Baby, be my boo

Love for me and love for you
Lust for my beard
Look at what I grew

Love for me and love for you
Love for each other
Baby, be my boo

Love for me and love for you
Lust for my beard
Look at what I grew

Look at my sexy facial hair
Oh man, hot damn, it's everywhere
Look at my sexy facial hair
Oh man, hot damn, it's everywhere!

It's everywhere
It's everywhere
It's everywhere
It's everywhere
It's everywhere
It's everywhere