I'd kiss your teeth
I'd do taxes
I'd be your girl
If you weren't a vampire

You look so sharp
In your cloak and slippers
I'd be your girl
If you weren't a vampire

I'd like to go on a picnic with you
But you'll explode in the sun
I'd introduce you to all of my friends
But you always drink their blood
You always drink their blood
La la la

Let's go outside
And chase the squirrels
And drain their blood
Because you're a vampire

I'd like to go on a picnic with you
But you'll explode in the sun
I'd introduce you to all of my friends
But you always drink their blood
You always drink their blood
La la la

But you're so sweet
When you're on a feeding frenzy
You looked so fine
When you murdered my whole family
I have a stake
But I swear I wouldn't use it
It's decorative
Like the velvet painting of Richard Dean Anderson

I'll kiss your teeth
I'll do your taxes
I'll be your girl
Because you're a vampire