[DELIA]
The universe
Is more than just space with no end
La-la-la-la-la!
Just think of the universe as a female best friend
And you can be like
"Hey, Universe, what's happenin', girl? "
And she'll be like
"Oh, nothin'... just running the world. "
And you'll be like, "What? "
And the universe will be like "I know!
You're on the right track, girl
I got your back, girl
I'm helping you grow"
Think positive
Act positive
You are a child of the Earth!

(spoken)
Life-coaching! Nailing it!

(sung)
Time to take command
You dictate the hand
The universe deals
Look!
Science makes no sense
Who needs evidence?
Go with your feels
I'm like a radio
Tuned to the stars
I found my frequency
Crystals speak to me


[LYDIA, spoken]
What are they saying?

[DELIA, spoken]
Buy more crystals!

(sung)
Everything, everything happens for a reason
Be a beacon of light in the world
Put a little "alright" in the world
There are spiritual guides above
Look up and see 'em
Perception is reality
Just listen to the melody the universe sings
'Cause everything, everything happens for a reason

[LYDIA, spoken]
Gee, I hate to break it to you

(sung)
The universe is just the contents of time, matter and space

[DELIA, spoken]
Yeah

[LYDIA, sung]
Ninety-one billion light-years across
And the Earth's a small place
Where good people die


[DELIA, spoken]
No—

[LYDIA, spoken]
Yeah

(sung)
In famine and wars
The Pacific Islands are sinking
But negative thinking is hardly the cause
You think life is all unicorns and rainbows 'cause you're bored
And positivity is a luxury that few can afford

We're gonna die
Yes, you and I
In meaninglessness and alone

[DELIA]
No no no!
No!
One day you may wake up alone

[LYDIA, spoken]
Okay?

[DELIA]
'Cause your husband and his boyfriend bought a boat
And then they sailed away to Rome


[LYDIA, spoken]
That's specific

[DELIA]
So you cry yourself to sleep in deep despair
Talkin' to the walls 'cause there's no one there
And you have to buy a cat
'Cause that's your last chance to have a family
Take it from me!
That your aging ass will have to believe that—

Everything, everything happens for a reason
Put some more fun in the world
A little "I am still young! " in the world
Be prepared to take your eggs and freeze 'em—

[LYDIA, spoken]
Is this still about me?

[DELIA]
'Cause everything, everything happens—

[LYDIA]
Sounds like terrible things can happen
Because the universe is random

[DELIA, spoken]
Yes, but—

(sung)
Random for a reason!

[LYDIA]
No reason!