I'm the clown at your birthday party
Rub my head and pinch my nose
I'm the chap with a million laughs
And the polyester clothes

I'm the clown at your birthday party
Look at my great big floppy feet
I'll make you smile for a little while
Then you'll get tired of me

I'm here for your amusement
And for your refusement
I'm here to do some card tricks
And fall way short on the yardstick of your love
I'm not the one that you've been dreaming of

I'm the clown at your birthday party
Stick that dollar in my underpants
I can sing most anything
And do my birthday dance

I'm the clown at your birthday party
I'm the waiter in your restaurant
Snap your fingers I will bring you
Anything you want

I'm the clown at your birthday party
I'm the clerk at your convenience store
There's no doubt you'll check me out
And then you'll just get bored

I'm here for your commanding
And for your demanding
I'm here to do your bidding
So you can say that you were just kidding too