You think I'm the kind of fool
Who waits by the phone for hours
And your friends are posting pictures from the strip club
Said tonight that it would only be us
I don't care, I'm not gonna be there
At noon when you sober up
Too messed up to take a shower
But who will babysit you through the weekend
Hold your hand when you go off the deep end?
I don't care, I'm not gonna be there

When you wake up
You're gonna wish you had me
When we break up
Who's gonna make you happy
When you out all night, need a ride?
Who's gonna take you home?
I don't know, I don't care
I'm not gonna be there

I thought that you were the one
How could I be so stupid?
When you tattooed my name on your shoulder
Was I naive to think that we'd grow older?
I don't care, I'm not gonna be there

When you wake up
You're gonna wish you had me
When we break up
Who's gonna make you happy
When you out all night, need a ride?
Who's gonna take you home?
I don't know, I don't care
I'm not gonna be there

When you wake up
You're gonna wish you had me
When we break up (When we break up)
Who's gonna make you happy
When you lost your phone, all alone?
Who's gonna know you're gone?
I don't know, I don't care
I'm not gonna be there

You can kiss any girl that you want
In a bus and you're just friends
Go to Vegas and gamble
Get wasted, arrested and lose or win
And forget 'bout my birthday again
And again and again and again
But I don't care, I'm not gonna be there

When you wake up
You're gonna wish you had me
When we break up
Who's gonna make you happy?
Baby, I don't mind, I'll be fine
Who's gonna take your side?
I don't know, I don't care
I'm not gonna be there

When you wake up
You're gonna wish you had me
When we break up
Who's gonna make you happy
When you lost your phone, all alone?
Who's gonna know you're gone?
I don't know, I don't care
I'm not gonna be there