Guess I'll end this life alone
I am not dramatic, these are just the thoughts
that pass right through me
All the douchebags in my phone
Play 'em like a slot machine
If they're winnin', I'm just losin'

A boy who's jacked and kind
Can't find his ass to save my life

Oh, it's slim pickings
If I can't have the one I love
I guess it's you that I'll be kissing
Just to get my fixings
Since the good ones are deceased or taken
I'll just keep on moanin' and bitchin'

Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah

Jesus, what's a girl to do?
This boy doesn't even know
the difference between "their," "there" and "they are"
Yet he's naked in my room
Missing all the things he's missing
God knows that he isn't living large

A boy who's nice, that breathes
I swear he's nowhere to be seen

It's slim pickings
If I can't have the one I love
I guess it's you that I'll be kissing
Just to get my fixings
Since the good ones are deceased or taken
I'll just keep on moanin' and bitchin'
Moanin' and bitchin'

Since the good ones call their exes wasted
And since the Lord forgot my gay awakening
Then I'll just be here in the kitchen
Serving up some moanin' and bitchin'