Martins in a fix, I don't know why (he's a loser)
He wears a little Trilby, why oh why (he's a loser)
He's stepping out with Maureen, I don't know why (he's a loser)
He's going to a party, why oh why (he's a loser)

And we're gonna sort him out real soon (2)
He's always right, he's never wrong, Martins in a fix (2)
La la la la la la etc

Martins in a fix, I don't know why (he's a loser)
He's mincing round boutiques, in Notting Hill (he's a loser)
He's a rover he's a shaker, why oh why? (he's a loser)
((New line to be written - we hate the existing one)) (he's a loser)