Five names that I can hardly stand to hear,
Including yours and mine and one more chump who isn't here
I can see the ladies talking, how the times were getting hard
And that fearsome excavation on Magnolia Boulevard

Yes, I'm going insane
And I'm laughing at the frozen rain
And I'm so alone
Honey, when they gonna send me home?

Bad sneakers and a piña colada, my friend
Stomping on the avenue by Radio City with a
Transistor and a large sum of money to spend

You fella, you tear on up the street
You wear that white tuxedo, how you gonna beat the heat?
Do you take me for a fool, do you think that I don't see
That ditch out in the valley that they're digging just for me?

Yes, I'm going insane
And I'm laughing at the frozen rain
And I'm so alone
Honey, when they gonna send me home?

Bad sneakers and a piña colada, my friend
Stomping on the avenue by Radio City with a
Transistor and a large sum of money to spend