I like glitter and sparkly dresses But I'm not gonna talk about that In my monologue I like baking and things that smell like winter But I'm not gonna talk about that In my monologue
La la la La la la
I like writing songs about douchebags who cheat on me But I'm not gonna say that In my monologue I like writing their names into songs so they're ashamed to go in public But I'm not gonna say that In my monologue
La la, la la la la la This is my musical monologue
You might think I'd bring up Joe That guy who broked up with me on the phone But I'm not gonna mention him In my monologue "-Hey joe! I'm doin' real well! " Tonight I'm hosting SNL But I'm not gonna brag about that In my monologue
La la la ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha La la la
And if you're wondering if I might be dating the werewolf from Twilight (Inaudible: -Hi Taylor! Send a kiss and wink) I'm not gonna comment on that In my monologue
La la, la La la la la This is my musical monologue
You might be expecting me to say Something bad about Kanye And how he ran up on the stage And ruined my VMA monologue (pause *take a deep breath) But there's nothing more to say Cause everything's OK I've got security lining the stage It's my SNL monologue