i am not an asshole
i am not a whore
you've been a good friend to me
i wouldn't ask for more

but there's something i've been wondering about
and been too ashamed to say
what it would be like to sleep with you
and your friend what's her name

i am not a pervert
i am not a freak
i am just a human
my resolve is weak

it's something i've tried fighting
oh so many ways
but the fantasies always come back to me
in a naked sweaty haze

i want to have sex with all my female friends
and maybe a couple of my male ones
i want to have sex with all my female friends
or at least see their breasts

i am not a chauvinist, i'm courteous and kind
i respect your intellect and admire you for your mind
but my manhood has agendas regardless of my own
it tells me to get my mack on with every chick i've ever known

i want to have sex with all my female friends
even the weird, weird ones
i want to have sex with all my female friends
or at least see their breasts...is that so much to ask?

boys don't tell me you can't relate
girls don't act surprised
that time i accidentally saw your bra
i know you saw it in my eyes

it's just the way god made us
it's just the way we're wired
it's just a harmless fantasy
unless you're so inspired

i want to have sex with all my female friends
and maybe a couple of my distant relatives
i want to have sex with all my female friends
or at least see their breasts
is that so much to ask?