Mary Anne and Wanda were the best of friends

All through their high school days

Both members of the 4H Club

Both active in the FFA

After graduation Mary Anne went out lookin'

for a brand new world

Wanda looked all around this town

and all she found was Earl

Well it wasn't two weeks

after she got married that

Wanda started getting abused

She put on dark glasses and long sleeved blouses

And make-up to cover a bruise

Well she finally got the nerve to file for divorce

She let the law take it from there

But Earl walked right through that restraining order

And put her in intensive care

Right away Mary Anne flew in from Atlanta

On a red eye midnight flight

She held Wanda's hand as they

worked out a plan

And it didn't take 'em long to decide

That Earl had to die

Goodbye Earl

Those black-eyed peas

They tasted all right to me Earl

You're feelin' weak

Why don't you lay down

and sleep Earl

Ain't it dark

Wrapped up in that tarp Earl?

The cops came by to bring Earl in

They searched the house

high and low

Then they tipped their hats

and said, "thank you ladies

if you hear from him let us know"

Well the weeks went by and

Spring turned to Summer

And Summer faded into Fall

And it turns out he was a missing person

who nobody missed at all

So the girls bought some land

and a roadside stand

out on Highway 109

They sell Tennessee ham

and strawberry jam

and they don't

lose any sleep at night 'cause

Earl had to die

Goodbye Earl

We need a break

Let's go out to the lake Earl

We'll pack a lunch

And stuff you in the trunk Earl

Well is that all right

Good Let's go for a ride

Earl hey

(The Dixie Chicks do not advocate premeditated murder, but love getting even.)