I took a walk down West 11
I had to wade through 500 European punks
In an off-license I rubbed up with some oiks*
Who threw some change on the Asian counter
And asked polite if that covered two lagers
A hospital discharge asked me where he could crash

Have you been to the English Deer Park?
It's a large type artist ranch
This is where C Wilson wrote Ritual in the Dark
Have you been to the English Deer Park?

Spare a thought for the sleeping promo dept.
They haven't had an idea in two years
Dollars and deutchmarks keep the company on its feet
Say have you ever have a chance to meet
Fat Captain Beefheart imitators with zits?
Who is the King Shag Corpse?

Have you been to the English Deer Park?
It's a large type minstrel ranch
This is where C Wilson wrote Ritual in the Dark
Have you been to the English Deer Park?

The young blackies get screwed up the worst
They've gone over to the Hampstead house suss
In the English system they implicitly trust
See the A&R civil servants
They get a sex thrill out of a sixteenth of Moroccan
They get a sex thrill out of a sixteenth of Moroccan

Have you been to the English Deer Park?
It's a large type artist ranch
This is where C Wilson wrote Ritual in the Dark
Have you been to the English Deer Park?

Yes, dear chap, it hasn't changed that much
It's still a subculture art-dealer jerk-off
Yes, dear chap, it hasn't changed that much
It's still a subculture art-dealer jerk-off

Have you been to the English Deer Park?
It's a large type minstrel ranch
This is where C Wilson wrote Ritual in the Dark
Have you been to the English Deer Park?

Have you been to the English Deer Park?
It's a large type minstrel ranch
This is where loads of punks congregate in the dark
Have you been to the English Deer Park?

Have you been to the English Deer Park?
It's a large type minstrel ranch
This is where C Wilson wrote Ritual in the Dark
Have you been to the English Deer Park?

Hey tourist it wasn't quite like what you thought
Hey Manchester group what wasn't what you thought
Hey Scottish group that wasn't quite like what you thought
Hey Manchester group that wasn't what you thought
Hey Scottish group that wasn't quite like what you thought
Quite like what you thought

Hey Midlands, scooped yer, how d'you ever get the job?
Hey Manchester group from it wasn't quite like what you thought
Quite like what you thought
Guess what
Guess guess guess...