I'm Palm Palm head
and I wrote one good song
But that was almost 20 years ago
I tried and I tried to follow it up
But you know how those sophomore jinxes go

So I became quite bitter
as sales dropped like flies
No one likes these dumb songs
of racing cars and spies

Maybe it's my ape drape
or hippies in my band
But now we only tour in Arizona
or Japan

So after much thought
and a panel of experts
I came up with a brilliant little plan
I'll take out my frustrations
on one of these ungrateful new punk rock bands

Cuz I invented socks
and I invented gravy
I made up the cotton gin
but no one ever paid me

Why beat a dead horse
with a career that is cursed?
I'll just sue for royalties
on things I thought of first

Back in Ancient Egypt
many Pharaohs went to jail
for misappropriation
of my Phrigian scale

I said listen to Tutankhamen
you're driving me insane
it's obvious those bellies
are all dancing to Bloodstains

I figured out you owe me
and please try not to laugh
but every time I hear it
I get one more golden calf

So I've bitten off
a sizable chunk
of the hands of the people
with the food

Now I'm confined to the pages of Flipside
a graveyard of punk rock's 35 year old dudes

Cuz I invented socks
and I invented gravy
I made up the cotton gin
but no one ever paid me

Why beat a dead horse
with a career that is cursed?
I'll just sue for royalties
on things I thought of first

Palm Palm!
Palm Palm!
Palm Palm!
Ape Drape!
Ape Drape!
Poodle Head!
Poodle Head!