Slapshot man, that's who I am,
put me in the game that's your best plan.
Don't bother with the trap or man to man,
'cause I'm a slapshot man.

Stop, you have no chance,
I will have to warn you in advance.
When it comes to political stance, I'm a slapshot man.

He winds up, but he never fans,
just you try to block it if you can.
If it ever winds up in the stands, call an ambulance.
yeah yeah yeah!

Slapshot man, that's who I am,
and my power rules on ice or land.
Whether on the pond or in the sand,
the puck's at my command.

He's slapshot man, and he entertains.
(?) shots all seem so lame,
next to him Al MacInnis is tame.
He puts the goalies to shame.
yeah yeah yeah!

I'm slapshot man, I know it ain't right,
but I even wind up when i'm in tight.
I don't ever mean to start a fight,
the ref gets so uptight.

Slapshot man, goalies call in sick,
nightmares of the puck coming off his stick.
The thought of a shutout is as unreal as dick,
yeah it's the slapshot man.
Yeah yeah yeah! (alright!)