Frank:
How d'you do, I
See you've met my
Faithful handyman.
He's just a little brought down
Because when you knocked
He thought you were the candy man.
Don't get strung up by the way I look.
Don't judge a book by its cover.
I'm not much of a man by the light of day
But by night I'm one hell of a lover.
I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transexual, Transylvania.
Let me show you around
Maybe play you a sound.
You look like you're both pretty groovy.
Or if you want something visual
That's not too abysmal,
We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.

Brad:
I'm glad we caught you at home,
Could we use your phone?
We're both in a bit of a hurry.

Janet:
Right.

Brad:
We'll just say where we are,
Then go back to the car.
We don't want to be any worry.

Frank:
Well you got caught with a flat, well, how `bout that?
Well, babies, don't you panic.
By the light of the night it'll all seem alright.
I'll get you a satanic mechanic.
I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transexual, Transylvania.
Why don't you stay for the night?
Riff Raff: Night!!
Or maybe a bite?
Columbia: Bite!!
I could show you my favourite obsession.
I've been making a man
With blond hair and a tan
And he's good for relieving my...tension
I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transexual, Transylvania, ha ha,
HEY, HEY!

I'm just a sweet transvestite. (Sweet transvestite)
From Transexual, Transylvania.

So - come up to the lab,
And see what's on the slab.
I see you shiver with antici...pation.
But maybe the rain
Isn't really to blame.
So I'll remove the cause.
But not the symptom.